Weird things and hat experiments

Weird things I've noticed lately -

I started to read a novel - just some random ebook to that was an obvious "story" and a work of fiction, only to find a notice at the beginning of the book that this was a work of fiction, and not true.  Is this a thing now, that we have to warn people that a story, which is obviously a made up story has to have a warning that this is fiction and not true?   I worry about humanity's future.

Kevin has been behaving nicely.  What's with that?

All the lemons on my little lemon tree house plant, ripened at once.   Now I have to figure out what to cook with 11 lemons over the next couple of weeks.

Many years ago, I subscribed to the only spinning magazine available.  In one issue was a felted hat made with handspun, and a pattern for it.   Not being a regular crocheter, I was careful about following the pattern.  I  ended up with this huge football shaped thing which would fit nobody's head.  I contacted the company concerned that there might have been a missing instruction or something, only to get  a rather curt and rude reply that there were no typos or missing instructions and the fault was my own. A few years later, I had learned  bit more about crochet, and I tried carefully to keep my gauge to same as they instructions suggested and follow the pattern.   Again, I ended up with something that didn't even resemble a hat.   

I decided that 3rd time was the charm.   I watched some crochet videos. I made sure I had the recommended hook.  I practiced until I new for sure I had the correct gauge.   I followed the instructions, knowing that I was ending on the correct stitch and had the right number of stitches on each row.  I ripped and remade any row which might not have been correct.  With much anticipation, I felted this new hat in the washer and put it through the drying cycle.  I took it out and did this whole felting routine 2 more times just to make sure...

This football shaped hat will fit nobody I know.  It was still huge, with something like a 28 inch head circumference and comes down past my nose in depth.  I have come to the conclusion that I'm missing something in those instructions.   It's too bad because I liked all the yarn that I used on those hats, some handspun and this one not, in order to try to keep it within the pattern parameters.  I will be looking for a new hat pattern.